Helping Kids Handle Big Emotions: A Parent’s Guide to Emotional Resilience & Nervous System Health
As parents, one of the most challenging—and rewarding—parts of raising children is helping them navigate their emotions. When kids experience frustration, sadness, or anger, it can feel overwhelming for everyone involved. But the ability to handle big emotions is a critical skill that will serve them for life.
The good news is that emotional regulation isn’t something kids have to figure out on their own. With the right support, you can guide your child through these developmental milestones, helping them grow into emotionally resilient individuals.
Why Kids Struggle with Big Emotions
Children aren’t born knowing how to regulate their feelings. In fact, the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation—the prefrontal cortex—isn’t fully developed until their mid-20s.
The prefrontal cortex is like the brain’s command center for logic, reasoning, and impulse control. When it’s still developing, kids rely heavily on the amygdala, the brain’s emotional alarm system, to process experiences. This can make their emotional responses feel intense and out of proportion at times.
During childhood, the brain is constantly forming new connections, shaping how children perceive and respond to the world around them. These early years are critical for laying the foundation of emotional health. The tools and strategies we give children now have the power to influence their entire lives.
It’s also important to note that boys, in particular, can be more vulnerable to challenges in handling big emotions. In many cultures, boys are often taught—directly or indirectly—that showing emotions is a sign of weakness. This messaging can make it harder for them to process and express feelings in healthy ways, emphasizing the need for intentional emotional support.
How to Help Your Child Handle Big Emotions
1. Validate Their Feelings
It’s important to let kids know their emotions are normal and acceptable. A simple phrase like, “I see you’re feeling really upset. That’s okay, and I’m here to help,” can go a long way. Pair this with physical comfort, like a reassuring hug or gentle touch, to let them feel your presence and support.
Avoid dismissive statements like, “Stop crying,” which can make kids feel misunderstood or ashamed of their emotions. Instead, create a safe space for them to express themselves freely.
2. Teach Them About Their Brain
Kids love learning how their brains work! Explain how their prefrontal cortex is still growing and how the amygdala can sometimes take over. Use kid-friendly analogies, like calling the amygdala the "guard dog" and the prefrontal cortex the "wise owl." This understanding helps them feel more in control.
3. Create a Calm-Down Toolkit
Help your child build a set of tools for calming down when emotions run high. This can include:
Deep breathing exercises, like “Smell the flower, blow out the candle.”
A cozy “calm corner” with soft pillows, books, and sensory toys.
Movement-based activities like jumping jacks, running, or dancing.
4. Name and Tame the Emotion
When kids can identify what they’re feeling, it’s easier for them to process it. Use a "feelings chart" or simply ask, “Do you feel angry, sad, or frustrated?” Naming emotions helps shift activity from the amygdala to the prefrontal cortex, giving them a sense of control.
5. Model Emotional Regulation
Children are always watching, and they learn from how you handle your emotions. Narrate your feelings and actions when you’re upset: “I’m feeling stressed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.” This shows them how to cope in real time.
Additionally, modeling support when they’re struggling can be powerful. Pair your words with actions: “I’m here to help you. Let’s take a deep breath together,” while offering a comforting hug or simply sitting beside them. Physical reassurance often helps children feel safe and grounded.
When parents lose their temper, it is equally important to apologize and take responsibility. Children are always trying to make sense of the world, and when a parent lashes out, they may assume it is their fault. Apologizing not only models accountability but also reassures them that emotions, even big ones, can be managed in a healthy way. These moments shape their lifelong understanding of relationships and self-worth.
The Role of Childhood Development in Emotional Health
Childhood is a critical time for building the foundation of emotional resilience. Just as a strong, healthy body needs proper nutrition and exercise, a child’s emotional development requires nurturing experiences and supportive environments.
Research shows that children who learn emotional regulation skills early on are more likely to:
Build strong relationships.
Perform better in school.
Handle stress and challenges effectively.
In essence, every tantrum, meltdown, or tear-filled moment is an opportunity to teach your child skills that will serve them for a lifetime.
The Role of the Nervous System in Emotional Regulation
At the core of emotional health lies the nervous system. When the nervous system is balanced, children are better equipped to handle stress and adapt to challenges. However, stress, overstimulation, and even birth trauma can dysregulate the nervous system, making it harder for kids to stay calm.
Dr. Heidi Haavik's research has shown that chiropractic adjustments stimulate the prefrontal cortex, the very part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and impulse control. This helps children develop better responses to stress and supports overall brain function.
Additionally, the principle that "nerves that fire together, wire together" is critical for parents to understand. The more a child experiences a regulated, supported environment, the stronger these neural pathways become. This also means that frequent stress responses or negative emotional patterns can wire together as well, making it essential for parents to provide consistent guidance and regulation.
Children are naturally wired to operate in a more sympathetic-dominant state—think of it as the "gas pedal" constantly being pressed. Parents, on the other hand, serve as the "brake," helping their children navigate emotions by setting guardrails and facilitating prefrontal cortex development. Through consistent, compassionate responses, parents help shape a child's ability to manage stress and self-regulate.
This is where tools like chiropractic care come in. By supporting a healthy and balanced nervous system, chiropractic adjustments can help children feel more at ease, physically and emotionally. When the body is in balance, the mind follows.
What parents are saying
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "Life-Changing for Our Family"
"Before learning these strategies, our son struggled with emotional outbursts daily. Understanding how his brain develops and how we, as parents, can be his ‘brake’ has completely changed how we support him. He’s calmer, more confident, and better able to express himself. This has truly been life-changing for our family!" – Sarah M.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "A Huge Difference in My Child’s Emotions"
"I never realized how much the nervous system plays a role in emotional regulation. After applying these tools and bringing my child in for chiropractic care, I’ve noticed a huge difference! She’s sleeping better, handling frustration more easily, and seems so much more at ease. Thank you for this incredible insight!" – Jessica R.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "More Peace at Home"
"As a parent, I used to feel lost when my child had big emotions. Now I have a whole new perspective! Learning about how the prefrontal cortex develops and how we can guide our kids through their emotions has made our home so much more peaceful. This information should be shared with every parent!" – Mark D.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ "The Chiropractic Connection is Real!"
"I was skeptical at first, but after seeing how my child responds to chiropractic care, I’m a believer! The adjustments have helped her feel more balanced, and I’ve noticed she’s more patient and less reactive to stress. I love knowing that I’m supporting her brain development in such a natural way." – Emily T.
Conclusion
Helping kids handle big emotions is a journey, and it starts with understanding their developing brains and nervous systems. By equipping them with tools, empathy, and patience, you’re giving them one of the greatest gifts: the ability to navigate life’s ups and downs with resilience.
If you’d like to learn more about how a balanced nervous system can support your child’s emotional health, reach out to us. Together, we can create a plan to help your child thrive.
